Smith, Denise Eileen Bryant
Denise was born in Long Beach, California on March 4, 1958, she passed away in
Mesa, Arizona October 19, 2009 after a hard fought battle against cancer.
At an early age Denise moved to Tucson, Arizona with her family
and attended Tanque Verde Elementary School, Sabino High School,
University of Arizona and University of San Diego. She loved to teach dance and
Was a great golfer and always eager to give free golf lessons.…Denise was club champion at John Day Golf Club. She had a wonderful way with words and wrote beautiful poems and even a song. Denise leaves behind her husband Mike Smith, Daughter Lyndee Smith, son Dane (Charly) Smith, her mother, Jeanne Bryant
Sisters, Debbie (Mark) Bennett and Danalynn Bryant. She was predeceased
By her father, Ron Bryant and her sister Doreen Bryant Waite.
Denise and Mike met and married in Valley Center, California they moved to Oregon 20 years ago and opened the Fish House Inn Bed and Breakfast.
Services will be at 1 p.m. Saturday October 24, 2009 at the Arizona Golf Resort
423 S. Power Road, Mesa, Az In lieu of flowers donations to Hospice of the Valley
Mesa, Arizona…
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
My Last Words
Who chooses my eternity in heaven with you God, You or me?
It is impossible to anticipate His eternal plan and not be fearful of leaving my family,
I feel my time with them is so incomplete.
No one has reached into my soul and assured me
I keep saying I will know and will feel the Peace-the Plan.
I am waiting, I am waiting..
Is the greatest gift really patience?
There is no losing when you know that God has you forever
He has taught me so much in my walk on earth and now how dare I not embrace the journey, no matter the length or the depth?
Trust my child, you must!!!
My body is deteriorating and it frightens me so
But I will be whole in His presence, He promises me so..
I lay the toughest thoughts I have ever imagined at His graceful feet,
Believing He will smile me through and through with the divine answers
He has in His hands.
I lift my enormous love for Mike, Dane and Lyndee to envelope me as only family love can.
I so never knew I could love people this much. May they know, so it becomes a part of them.
It is impossible to anticipate His eternal plan and not be fearful of leaving my family,
I feel my time with them is so incomplete.
No one has reached into my soul and assured me
I keep saying I will know and will feel the Peace-the Plan.
I am waiting, I am waiting..
Is the greatest gift really patience?
There is no losing when you know that God has you forever
He has taught me so much in my walk on earth and now how dare I not embrace the journey, no matter the length or the depth?
Trust my child, you must!!!
My body is deteriorating and it frightens me so
But I will be whole in His presence, He promises me so..
I lay the toughest thoughts I have ever imagined at His graceful feet,
Believing He will smile me through and through with the divine answers
He has in His hands.
I lift my enormous love for Mike, Dane and Lyndee to envelope me as only family love can.
I so never knew I could love people this much. May they know, so it becomes a part of them.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Hello Friends
I had a GOOD night's sleep last night which is indescribable when you live on a rollercoaster of physical and mental unknowns and try this, try thats... Kind of the first time I have been able to sit up at the computer in a very long time.
Mike's Mom, sister and sis-in law are here filling up my love tank and helping Mike deal with a bum tooth. I feel God pulling our little family tapestry weaving beautifully together! Mark has a rare day off and it is cooled down into the 80's, so he and Mark are going to play a round of golf. I am not even jealous. He deserves it! I am proud to say I love him more everyday. What a compassionate, caring nurse he is (I guess whether he wants to or not).
I feel blessed, loved and under the Divivne leading of God.... nice, secure, thankful for some would think might be curled up in a ball of self pity. I send my encouragement and love over the mountains, across the deserts, ziz-zagging through the stars and cactus directly from my heart to YOURS.
Mike's Mom, sister and sis-in law are here filling up my love tank and helping Mike deal with a bum tooth. I feel God pulling our little family tapestry weaving beautifully together! Mark has a rare day off and it is cooled down into the 80's, so he and Mark are going to play a round of golf. I am not even jealous. He deserves it! I am proud to say I love him more everyday. What a compassionate, caring nurse he is (I guess whether he wants to or not).
I feel blessed, loved and under the Divivne leading of God.... nice, secure, thankful for some would think might be curled up in a ball of self pity. I send my encouragement and love over the mountains, across the deserts, ziz-zagging through the stars and cactus directly from my heart to YOURS.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Dayville Friends, Will You Do Me a Favor?
Barry Adams has been running our Inn & RV Park in our absence and doing such a terrific job! We are so thankful and blessed to have him and to be able to not worry in that area. I am throwing out a request to those of you who see him to let him know so!..... a shout from your car, a plate of cookies, a meal, a handshake or a hug....would mean tons from us Smitty's down here in Arizona! He is one GREAT friend!!
THANK YOU ALL OUR DAYVILLE FRIENDS...
WE CHERISH YOU ALL....
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Shared Poem
Wait
Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, Child you must wait.
Wait, you say, wait, my indignant reply.
Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened, or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked and am claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance and YOU tell me WAIT?
I’m needing a yes, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a no to which I can resign.
And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, you must wait.
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut and
Grumbled to God, so I’m waiting for what?
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.
All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be,
You would have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint;
You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see;
You would never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give and save for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of my heart.
The glow of My comfort, late in the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God who makes what you have LAST.
You never would know, should your pain quickly flee
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee!
Yes, your dreams for that loved one overnight could come true,
But the loss, if I lost what I’m doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft may My answers seen terribly late:
My most precious answer of all is still: WAIT.
Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, Child you must wait.
Wait, you say, wait, my indignant reply.
Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened, or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked and am claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance and YOU tell me WAIT?
I’m needing a yes, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a no to which I can resign.
And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, you must wait.
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut and
Grumbled to God, so I’m waiting for what?
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.
All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be,
You would have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint;
You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see;
You would never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give and save for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of my heart.
The glow of My comfort, late in the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God who makes what you have LAST.
You never would know, should your pain quickly flee
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee!
Yes, your dreams for that loved one overnight could come true,
But the loss, if I lost what I’m doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft may My answers seen terribly late:
My most precious answer of all is still: WAIT.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Long Time... Fuzzy Brain...
I logged on this morning to report that I had a much day better yesterday. They changed my pain medication from a tube to a patch - which seemed to totally take away my persistent nausea. We even went out for sushi dinner. First day I have kept three meals down in a VERY long time!
When I went to log on this morn (I have 3 blog accounts) I couldn't remember the right password! I got so frustrated I cried. It must be the pain meds. I need to focus on the good things going on... I can walk with a cane instead of a walker or a wheelchair..... haven't hit the floor yet.
Doesn't seem like golf will ever be in the picture again.. one of my saddest realizations:( However If He chooses to let me remain here longer, I keep having interesting dreams other fulfilling things that could benefit a lot a lot people :) It's something I have longed to do.
"Here O Lord When I Cry With My Voice,
When I went to log on this morn (I have 3 blog accounts) I couldn't remember the right password! I got so frustrated I cried. It must be the pain meds. I need to focus on the good things going on... I can walk with a cane instead of a walker or a wheelchair..... haven't hit the floor yet.
Doesn't seem like golf will ever be in the picture again.. one of my saddest realizations:( However If He chooses to let me remain here longer, I keep having interesting dreams other fulfilling things that could benefit a lot a lot people :) It's something I have longed to do.
"Here O Lord When I Cry With My Voice,
Here O Lord When O Lord When I Sing With My Life."
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Life is One Day At A Time
So many photos...so little concentratration to take the time to post them. Maybe Dane's photographer, Justin, will post them on shutterfly.... Dane arrived home with a really high fever, feeling really crappy:(We are settled back in in Mesa, using home hospice care. Mike and Lyndee are getting to be experts at administering my "happy juice" (as Debbie calls it).
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
WEDDING DAY!
AUGUST 28ND HAS ARRIVED!
IT IS THE OFFICIAL DATE
THAT WILL GO INTO THE RECORD BOOKS
OF THE NEPTUALS BETWEEN
CHARLY LYNN WILLARD
AND
DANE MICHAEL SMITH !
MAY THIS DAY ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED FONDLY
WITH ABUNDANT LOVE!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Power in Weakness
I am not too sure what happened to yesterday... let's just do this, forget about it and be thankful for a new day! I am up and eating watermelon and feeling renewed with new hope. I am so lucky there is a family member here in my cozy room with me at all times. Mike can do a lot of thing besides run a weed wacker, lawn mower and roll up hoses! Just had to give him the opportunity!
The RN's here are teaching Mike, Lyndee, and Paul how to deal with the new-fangled machines that pump nutrients and pain medication at regular intervals without our even having to futz with them unless the batteries run low or the bag needs to be changed. They are making every effort to get me to that wedding!!
My vanity will have to find some car window to make a soaring exit out of between here and California! My skin just drapes over my bony arms and legs. I worry about the whispering and the "poor thing" comments... I think I will survive them this way, ....repeating this scripture "My grace is sufficient for you, My power is made perfect in weakness." I hope you see God's light shining through my paper-thin bones and a love filled -shawl of contentment draped around me! And finally, a radiant smile that beams for my little big boy who has grown into an intelligent and teriffic man and is marrying the love of his live!
The RN's here are teaching Mike, Lyndee, and Paul how to deal with the new-fangled machines that pump nutrients and pain medication at regular intervals without our even having to futz with them unless the batteries run low or the bag needs to be changed. They are making every effort to get me to that wedding!!
My vanity will have to find some car window to make a soaring exit out of between here and California! My skin just drapes over my bony arms and legs. I worry about the whispering and the "poor thing" comments... I think I will survive them this way, ....repeating this scripture "My grace is sufficient for you, My power is made perfect in weakness." I hope you see God's light shining through my paper-thin bones and a love filled -shawl of contentment draped around me! And finally, a radiant smile that beams for my little big boy who has grown into an intelligent and teriffic man and is marrying the love of his live!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
We Gather Together
I am going to post a lot of photos this morning! We had a delightful get-together at Debbie and Mark's last night... lots of reasons to be smiling... Mike, Dane and Charly are here from Oregon, Steve and Mary Sue are here from Hood River, Jacy is all packed and ready to make the drive to University of Oklahoma for her first semester of college...she leaves tomorrow! I am no longer in the hospital and am at peace with my health care and living situation... My baby sister DanaLynn and her favorite little guy Sammy joined in our little party, my handsome nephew Greg was here from Tucson and Jacy's bff Emily joined us too ... Okay, enough intro (and poor punctuation) ... on to the photos!
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Lessons...
So, About This Journey I am on…
It’s revealing amazing compassion
from so many people, in so many ways.
~It’s opening hands of love~
It’s helping me to recognize we all need one another
I need you.
~It’s opening arms of love~
It’s teaching me to appreciate each day
from a different, healthier, perspective.
~It’s opening eyes of love~
It’s allowing me to cry
As easily as I laugh.
~It’s opening a heart of love~
It’s stretching my faith, forcing me to search deep
into what I truly believe.
~It’s opening eternal love~
-Denise Bryant Smith
8/5/2009
It’s revealing amazing compassion
from so many people, in so many ways.
~It’s opening hands of love~
It’s helping me to recognize we all need one another
I need you.
~It’s opening arms of love~
It’s teaching me to appreciate each day
from a different, healthier, perspective.
~It’s opening eyes of love~
It’s allowing me to cry
As easily as I laugh.
~It’s opening a heart of love~
It’s stretching my faith, forcing me to search deep
into what I truly believe.
~It’s opening eternal love~
-Denise Bryant Smith
8/5/2009
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
An Oasis in the Desert
This is such a peaceful back yard! We sit in low chairs on the first swim step in the evenings with music playing and the waterfall running into the pool. I picture my cells dancing to the music and moving rythmically through my body. Happy cells are healing cells... believe it!Monday, August 03, 2009
New Hope Medical Center
Lyndee took this photo of the kitchen at New Hope.. this is where Shoshana makes us gourmet organic breakfasts and lunches, de-tox teas etc etc...
The Center is actually a beautiful home secluded in the desert, easy to feel relaxed and at home there. Today was my last day of my 2 wk treatment, but I have follow up to do with cancer vaccines and a 2nd round of stem cells. They sent me home with a set program on eating, supplements and a huge notebook full of information. I will miss going there every day but do need to figure out this next step of a new way of living and taking care of myself. (It's a 3 person job at this point!)
The Center is actually a beautiful home secluded in the desert, easy to feel relaxed and at home there. Today was my last day of my 2 wk treatment, but I have follow up to do with cancer vaccines and a 2nd round of stem cells. They sent me home with a set program on eating, supplements and a huge notebook full of information. I will miss going there every day but do need to figure out this next step of a new way of living and taking care of myself. (It's a 3 person job at this point!)
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Bea 'n Me
My Aunt Bea, from California, came and visited me yesterday! She makes lovely quilts and she made one just for me. Deb took this photo of us before they left today. It was SO great to see her (and Gary) and feel the love!
I Am Loved
It is hard to start every sentence with "I".... me, me, me there is an awful lot of focus on me and I wish there wasn't! But, I am learning to accept the gracious love extended to me by my family and friends and even complete strangers. We had a wonderful speaker come to the clinic on Thursday, a 20 yr cancer survivor who conventional Dr's had given 6 months to live. He sought out alternative care and pursued it with intensity. He now has a wonderful minstry for cancer patients and his visit was enlightening and a super blessing for me. I feel deep in my soul that God has a mighty purpose for me through this journey and I am fighting with all I have so I may make a difference, be a blessing to others one day... with an awesome testimony! As for now I cling to the love and encouragement being sent to me as medicine to my soul!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Bumpety, Bump, Bump....
I was taken by surprise yesterday because I have been feeling SO much better, good energy, good appetite, tons of hope... then as I left the clinic yesterday afternoon my abdomen turned into what felt like a 50 lb load of rock... which just wouldn't subside. By nightfall I was throwing up and by midnight I was on the way to the ER :( It's still a mystery, a urinary tract infection is all they came up with, so I am back on antibiotics and still haven't managed to keep any food down. I hate being SO skinny and frail. I had a 7 am appointment with a cardiologist, so with only an hour and a half of sleep off we went... better news there. My heart is fine, the fluid is minimal, no draining necessary. It was back to the clinic by 9 am and lots of TLC all day and now finally home and feeling a little better. Onward I go....
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Remembering G.G.
Today is the birthday of my Grandma Betty!
We all loved her so and miss her!
~+>+>**+<+<~
Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday, Monday... Pretty Doggone Good Day!
It was a good day at the NHMC. Since I wasn't there last Monday, I got to hear for the first time the Director of the center explain how cancer cells live, how the treatments they provide work, and lots and lots of information I wish I could share ~so you all would be as optomistic about this as I am! I am blessed to be here!
Hugs and Smiles across the miles...
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Peurto Penasco
It was a 4 hour drive to Mexico yesterday. I had my stem cells administered (about 4 million of the purest available) at 11am and then Deb and I and Jacy and Emily spent about 6 hours on the beach at Dr Bennett's lovely home! We had a healthy lunch and dinner and then drove back home. Deb was a trooper those last couple hours of driving as the rest of us slept!
I have this song by Karen Drucker that I have been playing over and over again on Deb's ipod... part of it goes like this...
"I am healed, whole and healthy, I,ve got love surrounding me. I am healed, whole and healthy, I am well, I am well."
That is my mind set!
Deb went for a swim... Can't express how much I love this woman!
Deb and Jacy... water came up almost to patio by the time we left.
Water was bath tub temp... Emily looks pretty tranquil.
I have this song by Karen Drucker that I have been playing over and over again on Deb's ipod... part of it goes like this..."I am healed, whole and healthy, I,ve got love surrounding me. I am healed, whole and healthy, I am well, I am well."
That is my mind set!
Deb went for a swim... Can't express how much I love this woman!
Deb and Jacy... water came up almost to patio by the time we left.Water was bath tub temp... Emily looks pretty tranquil.
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