Bumpety, Bump, Bump....

I was taken by surprise yesterday because I have been feeling SO much better, good energy, good appetite, tons of hope... then as I left the clinic yesterday afternoon my abdomen turned into what felt like a 50 lb load of rock... which just wouldn't subside. By nightfall I was throwing up and by midnight I was on the way to the ER :( It's still a mystery, a urinary tract infection is all they came up with, so I am back on antibiotics and still haven't managed to keep any food down. I hate being SO skinny and frail. I had a 7 am appointment with a cardiologist, so with only an hour and a half of sleep off we went... better news there. My heart is fine, the fluid is minimal, no draining necessary. It was back to the clinic by 9 am and lots of TLC all day and now finally home and feeling a little better. Onward I go....

Remembering G.G.

Today is the birthday of my Grandma Betty!

We all loved her so and miss her!

~+>+>**+<+<~

Monday, Monday... Pretty Doggone Good Day!

It was a good day at the NHMC. Since I wasn't there last Monday, I got to hear for the first time the Director of the center explain how cancer cells live, how the treatments they provide work, and lots and lots of information I wish I could share ~so you all would be as optomistic about this as I am! I am blessed to be here!

Hugs and Smiles across the miles...

Peurto Penasco

It was a 4 hour drive to Mexico yesterday. I had my stem cells administered (about 4 million of the purest available) at 11am and then Deb and I and Jacy and Emily spent about 6 hours on the beach at Dr Bennett's lovely home! We had a healthy lunch and dinner and then drove back home. Deb was a trooper those last couple hours of driving as the rest of us slept!
I have this song by Karen Drucker that I have been playing over and over again on Deb's ipod... part of it goes like this...
"I am healed, whole and healthy, I,ve got love surrounding me. I am healed, whole and healthy, I am well, I am well."
That is my mind set! Deb went for a swim... Can't express how much I love this woman!

Deb and Jacy... water came up almost to patio by the time we left.


Water was bath tub temp... Emily looks pretty tranquil.

Restful Friday

It was a short day at the NHMC today. I have spent the afternoon listening to inspirational music on Debbie's ipod while lounging on the back patio. Everyone keeps asking how I stand the heat, but it feels so good to me. I am in the shade and drink tons of lemon water. We leave really early tomorrow morning for Rocky Point and those stem cells! We plan on spending Saturday night in the Bennett's lovely home on the beach unless my breathing is labored by the humidity there. I think I will be fine. No cell phones until Sunday when we get back to the US. Thank you for praying for this very important trip!

Uugg!

After half a day at the treatment center and getting my new 'super charged', blood IV'd back in me, and various other treatments, I went to a nearby hospital and they did an ultra sound to see if fluid had re accumulated in my lung... which it had :( So they stuck a needle in from the back through my ribs and then a little suction tube and sucked it out. 600cc Not a pleasant experience.! I tried to be tough but they hit a nerve and I kind of lost it for a few minutes there, yep even cried... you aren't supposed to cough as your lung fill back up with air so it doesn't collapse, easier said than done! Anyway...Still fighting, still praying, still very thankful that I have people who love me and pray for me!

Fighting

Today was a long hard day of treatment but cancer is a tough opponent!

Thank you for continued prayers!

Hope is a Wonderful Gift

I retire tonight with a very grateful heart full of hope and a peace I haven't had in a long time. I know the prayers of family and friends culminated today in my experience at the New Hope Center. I can't express how it feels to just know in your soul that you are in the right place and it is by no accident that you are there!

~amen!~

Safely in Arizona

I am peacefully settled in at Deb's. We meet at 9 am tomorrow with the Dr at New Hope Medical Center in Scottsdale. I will update the blog and let you know if he thinks there really is hope!!

Trusting God with this journey... may I follow His lead and find His peace.

An Glimpse Into My Journal...

"Dane and Lyndee accompanied me to have an oncologist tell me the resulsts of the PET Scan. All three of us were in shock at how many active places of cancer cells it shows in my body. It was nothing short of horrifying! As I look back on the meeting, the oncologist loved the control of the situation, I could feel how he drew his strength from our powerless-ness. I suppose that's why he's in that position. Oooh, It was such role playing and such an ego stroke for him and I don't think he realized the transparency of it. He hero, she victim.... NOT! It's why he chose that profession, his need to be needed, and it's why I cringe at most Dr's. I won't let them have that energy from me! Just pinpointing it and recongnizing it now helps me to move beyond it an move forward onto a new path.. one shaped by my inner wisdom. Interesting how when we are at our weakest a sixth sense kicks in. For me it seems so be insight into ulterior motives and hidden agendas, peoples true characters."

It's Just a Six Letter Word..

Cancer is so limited!!

It cannot cripple love,

It cannot shatter hope,

It cannot corrode faith,

It cannot destroy peace,

It cannot kill friendship,

It cannot suppress memories,

It cannot silence courage,

It cannot invade the soul,

It cannot steal God's gift of eternal life,

It cannot quench the Holy Spirit,

It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection.

Cancer really is powerless.

The worst it can do is touch my body.

It has no authority over my emotions or my spirit.

Author Unknown to me, shared with me by Susan Rider.

:)

My dearest family and friends... I had a PET scan this morning, and then Dane, Lyndee and I met with the oncologist late this afternoon. The test revealed active cancer cells in many, many places in my little body. Dang it!! I have been preparing myself for this even though I was hoping and praying the test would have shown otherwise. I am a bit numb right now, overwhelmed with thoughts about where and how I am going to complete my time here on planet earth. Thank you for your love and prayers and I will post more when I know more. Lots of tough things to think through... If you feel led to call me I welcome knowing you care!

May All the Love You Give Away...

Lyndee is here and she is such a loving help with juicing, food in general, and encouragement! Dane gets so frustrated because I have always had such a tender heart for my little "drama queen"! But, love always comes full circle, doesn't it? Lyndee is taking time off of work and put her life on hold to tend to my needs. It reminds me of that sweet little book I used to read to my kids "I'll Love You Forever"... in the end the son is rocking his mom on his lap and repeating the same verse she sang to him... "I will love you forever, I will like you for always, as long as I am living, my baby you'll be."

Sunrise this am.....

A Busy Weekend and An Escape

4th of July is a ZOO at our place... I am guessing we had close to 100 guests in the Inn & RV Park, that should hold 30 or so max... They take one RV space and add 4 riggs and tents and kids and dogs and alcohol!!
Looking the other way... (it got even fuller!)

In my present physical state, I just could not bear to be here and watch all the happy, partying people, so I took the camper and the dogs~ and even though I was very lonely, it was peaceful.

I read and wrote and cried and floated on an inner tube and prayed... a lot!

Here is part of my journal from the first night:

"I wish I could capture the energy of the river and let it flow through me. Maybe I can visualize it going through my body, washing away all illness and leaving behind a reflection of blue sky, sunshine and angels in the clouds."

How Do I Get Over the "Why Me?" Syndrome???

It's been quite a roller coaster ride the last couple weeks! And the ride is sure to get bumpy as I fight for my life. I don't think anyone reads this blog who doesn't know me, so I am going to go ahead and write and post as did with my last cancer battle in 2007.

The fluid around my heart and in my right lung is beginning to reaccumulate and the Dr's are "sure" a spreading cancer is causing it. I am re-starting the "There are No Incurable Diseases" program and have ordered Protocel (www.outsmartyourcancer.com).

Humanly we can only do so much. God is in control! I am clinging to this! Please pray for me. "...and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick and the Lord will raise him up... "James 5:15

I am going to need assistance in juicing, shopping and hanging tough, so prayers for a helper or where I need to be, are appreciated.